Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
