i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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