im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize