I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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