So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize