At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He did a backflip because drugs
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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