I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
