If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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