I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize