Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
