Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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