I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize