so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
