Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
