Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
