If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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