he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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