her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
