cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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