and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
