We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
