med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We have so much sex to catch up on
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
