Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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