Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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