So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
