He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
