I must be too annoying 4 u.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
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I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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