man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
