i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
