It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
