It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
