Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
