hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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