Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize