bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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