It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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