the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
