dude i'm inner monologue high
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
