I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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