There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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