i may or may not be watching the land before time
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
They have beer where we have blood.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
