My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
