check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
