I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
