Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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