And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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