And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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