I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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