Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
