It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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