The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
