This is not my ceiling
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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