No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
