Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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