if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
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When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
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When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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