All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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