put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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