if you like me you must not know who I am
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
