I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
