I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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