walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
