No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Randomize