Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize