so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
