This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
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I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
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An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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