so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
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Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
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He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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